No Longer Living by Others' Expectations: Eden Lau's Story of Quitting His Job to Live Honestly as Himself

Some people have not avoided the stable path. They walk it, until one day they finally no longer want to leave their lives to inertia.

For Eden Lau (Lau Chun-pong), life once came very close to what society would call the right answer.

A job in banking, a steady income, a flat of his own, a relationship that had reached engagement. Everything looked safe, respectable, and easy for others to understand. It was the kind of life many people work years to reach. Yet the more his days began to feel like a script written in advance, the more he began to sense himself drifting further from who he really was.

Later, he left banking to become a fitness coach, and started building his own social media presence and community.

In moving from a stable life laid out for him to a path he chose for himself, Eden had to face more than a change of career. There were his family's expectations, his identity as a gay man, his relationship, and the larger question of how a person can honestly live as themselves.

Behind a life the world approved of, he began to doubt it was the one he wanted

In Chinese society, stability often feels like a model answer already written out for you.

Find a respectable job, earn a steady income, buy a flat, get engaged, plan for the future. It feels as though, if you just get every step right, you can secure a safe life. There is nothing wrong with this path. For many people, it is the very life they fight years to win.

It is not that Eden never walked the path society approves of. He once had a steady job, he bought a flat, and he reached the stage of engagement with his male partner. To many people, that already counts as a settled, secure life. But stability is not the same as truly being alive, and having the next step planned out does not mean it is everything you want.

He describes himself as having once been like an NPC, following society's script for twenty, even thirty years. Study, work, earn money, build a relationship, prepare to settle down. Every step seemed to have a fixed direction. But as he kept walking, a sense of discontent grew clearer and clearer.

He did not want a life that was only clocking in, clocking out, and waiting for the next holiday. Nor did he want to look back one day and realise he had spent it all living along a route shaped by other people's expectations. So leaving banking to pursue what he actually wanted to do slowly became a choice he weighed seriously.

Many people assume that quitting without a backup plan is an impulse, but this decision did not happen overnight. From the first thought of resigning to chase a dream to the day he actually handed in his notice, he prepared for a full year. Because he understood clearly that, without preparation, the line between recklessness and a graceful leap is razor-thin.

So it was not an escape, but a choice made after thinking it through again and again.

You only live once. While he still had the means, the energy and the drive to try, why not go for it?

After quitting, he had to learn to take control of his life again

Once he actually left the security of his job, freedom turned out to be more than a romantic idea.

Back when he worked in banking, his income was steady. Eden used to earn a lot and spend a lot too, travelling abroad seven or eight times a year on average. After he left, the first thing he had to relearn was not how to chase a dream, but how to bring more in and spend less.

Especially when he first stepped into the gay scene, that world full of novelty felt like a Pandora's box. Parties, raves, music festivals, every one of them was new to him then, every one of them was fun. Those experiences brought a huge rush of excitement, but turning back to face the credit card bills made him realise his life needed a new sense of order.

The second thing he had to learn was discipline.

Beyond managing his physique, he frankly admits he is not naturally a disciplined person. When he worked in banking, at least a fixed schedule pushed him forward. After he resigned, everything had to be arranged by himself. Brainstorming content, editing videos, training, taking care of daily life, shoots, showing up at events, coaching fitness, a dozen things piled up in front of him at once. Freedom suddenly became very real, and very testing.

Later, it was his other half who slowly pulled him back on track.

In his most emotionally fragile moments, his partner always stayed by his side to support him. The two of them have been through ten years together, and this relationship is not only love but also a vital source of strength as he rebuilt order in his life.

Often, what truly holds a person up is not some grand, dramatic promise, but someone who stays beside you when you are at your most fragile and your life is at its hardest. Not just your lover, but each other's perfect teammate.

Coming out was not a single moment, but years of his family slowly coming to terms with it

Eden came out early. Fortunately, from secondary school to entering the working world, most of the people around him could accept his sexual orientation. As for those who could not, he learned not to care too much. In his own words: 'WHO CARES?'

But family was always another matter.

His parents took many years to come to terms with his coming out. From not knowing how to react at first to gradually accepting it later, the distance in between was not something a single sentence could bridge. Especially in the older generation's way of thinking, a son often carries the expectation of continuing the family line. As the youngest child, he understood that his parents would feel this responsibility fell on him.

But he was also very clear that if he forced himself into a heterosexual marriage that was not his own, just to please his parents, it would be unfair to that future wife, unfair to the children, and unfair to himself.

He once sat down with his parents to talk it through, and even used their own failed marriage as an example. Even when a man and a woman marry and have children, it does not guarantee happiness. If a person is made to try to love a gender they do not love, how could they ever truly be happy?

These conversations had no movie-style grand reconciliation, but time slowly changed many things.

On the most recent Mother's Day and Father's Day, when he was on the phone with his family, his parents began, of their own accord, to ask about him and his partner, and their tone and choice of words were far gentler than in years past. For Eden, those small shifts already moved him deeply.

Sometimes acceptance is not a door flung suddenly open, but a once tightly shut door that finally, slowly leaves a crack of space.

Hong Kong may seem more open now, but being gay still takes a great deal of courage

In Eden's everyday observation, Hong Kong society now has more room to accept homosexuality than before. On the streets, more and more gay couples are willing to hold hands, and more and more people can regard those of different orientations with a more natural attitude.

But visibility in daily life does not mean the whole city is truly ready to hold and support the LGBTQ community.

In recent years, the public space for Hong Kong's LGBTQ community has grown more fragile. Large-scale gay events face greater uncertainty over venues, licences and public resources, and the spaces meant to let the community gather and support one another may not be able to exist on stable ground. These difficulties do not necessarily show up in everyone's life every day, but they remind everyone that gay people in this city still have to weigh carefully how far forward they can go.

Even Eden himself was not brave from the start.

Once, when he was holding hands with his partner on the street, he was the one who turned timid first. Just then, a woman of around fifty came over and said to him: 'Don't be afraid. As long as you're not affecting anyone else, you can do whatever you want to do.'

Those words moved him deeply.

Because sometimes what traps a person is not only the outside world, but also the fear they have set up in advance inside their own heart. That woman did not preach any grand philosophy. She simply reminded him, in the plainest way, that as long as you are not hurting anyone, you do not need to apologise for your own existence.

It is precisely for this reason that he believes all the more that Hong Kong needs a truly representative gathering place for the gay community. Not just a party venue, not just a social space, but a place where people can meet naturally, connect, and build a sense of belonging.

The rainbow should not appear only on certain festivals or at certain events. It should also appear on the streets, on the sports field, in everyday life, and in every place where someone is willing to live honestly.

He does not want to be the perfect gay icon, he just wants to live as his true self

Eden does not want to package his story as a flawless role model for gay people.

In the course of getting to know the gay community, he too has felt lost and disappointed. When a person first truly steps into a certain circle, expecting to find more understanding and belonging, they later discover that every community has its own interpersonal tangles, differences in values and real-world pressures. A shared gay identity creates connection, but it does not mean everyone lives the same way, nor that every relationship will naturally become simple.

These experiences did not make him deny his own identity. Instead, they made him understand more deeply that what truly matters is not becoming some standard image, but honestly living as who he is.

He is not trying to represent everyone, nor to define for anyone else how a gay person should live. He simply believes that if he is willing to step out first and honestly share his life with his fiancé, then perhaps a second couple, a third couple, or others who are still hesitating, will begin to feel that they too do not have to hide.

So now he hopes, through his own social media, to show the more real everyday life he shares with his fiancé. Not for the sake of showing off, but in the hope that more people can see that a gay relationship can also be very ordinary, very real and full of love, and that, like anyone else, they can live earnestly, love earnestly, and plan earnestly for the future.

Fitness is not about showing off his body, but about taking his life back into his own hands

For Eden, fitness is not simply a change in appearance, but a change in life.

After becoming a fitness coach, his body is not only his professional image but also a way to regain control of his life. As his career develops now, whether he is recruiting students, doing shoots, appearing at events, taking on jobs or teaching classes, his physique has become part of what makes him convincing. A good-looking body certainly matters, but more importantly, managing his physique is also, to him, an investment in his health.

Two years ago, he decided to go to Taiwan to shoot a male physique photo book.

At first, there was a little thought of boosting his popularity, and a wish to leave himself a keepsake. But the deeper reason was that he wanted to give himself a goal, to push himself to train until he was worthy of standing in the spotlight and becoming one of the male models in front of the camera.

For that shoot, he ate chicken breast with rice nonstop for a stretch of time. The process was hardly romantic, even a little painful, but the end result made him feel it was well worth it. More unexpectedly, that experience led him to build healthier eating habits ever since.

Later, he found that quite a few guys, after seeing what he had tried, went on to shoot their own male physique photos. This made him very happy. Because it meant his own actions really had a chance to influence others, giving them the courage to start doing what they wanted to do too.

For him, this was not only about the body, but also about self-affirmation.

When a person dares to stand in front of the camera and accept their body, their confidence and their imperfections, they are in fact also learning how to face themselves more honestly.

He doubts himself every few days, but he would rather embarrass himself than leave regrets

After leaving the security of his job, it is not as though Eden never doubted himself.

He even jokes that self-doubt shows up almost once every few days, and it could not be more normal. After all, starting a business, running his own social media, coaching fitness and building a personal brand, none of these steps comes with a fixed answer, nor with the clear track that a banking job once offered.

But every time he doubts himself, he chooses to believe in himself one more time.

He says that, growing up, he was not really someone who held tightly to his convictions. But this time, he wants to do it with the mindset of 'I'd rather embarrass myself than leave regrets behind.'

Even if it really does not work out in the future, even if one day he ends up back in a banking job, he will not regret resigning to chase his dream back then. Because at least he tried, at least he once earnestly did what he wanted to do.

This is not a flawless success formula, nor a pretty slogan, but a very real kind of grown-up courage.

He may not necessarily win, but he does not want to miss even the chance to step onto the field.

What he wants to build is not a fitness class, but a community where people dare to be themselves

Eden is now working hard toward his next step.

He wants to make money, to start a business, to open his own studio and teach group class fitness. He also wants to host his own events in Hong Kong, such as wilderness raves and silent discos, building a freer community with a stronger sense of belonging.

Right now, every Saturday morning, he leads a group through a workout. From just a few people at the start, he now slowly hopes it will grow to a dozen, to dozens, even to one or two hundred. To him, this is not just a fitness class, but the embryo of a community.

He hopes to draw more people to take part in his events, and through exercise, parties, lifestyle and social media, to slowly build a space where people can be themselves more freely.

He does not make this sound grand, but the direction is in fact very clear.

First become your best self, then slowly influence those around you. First let yourself step out, then let others know that they can step out too.

To become the lead in your own life is to stop living to please others

If he had to leave behind one line he most wants everyone to remember, Eden's answer is direct: love yourself more, be a little kinder to yourself, and let yourself be a little happier.

These words sound simple, but they are something he learned slowly along the way. Because truly loving yourself is not only about making yourself happy. It also means honestly understanding yourself, knowing what you want and what you do not, and having the courage to draw clear boundaries.

For Eden, becoming the lead in your own life is not about being confident forever, nor about living out some perfect image. It is about being able, when the outside world has expectations, when family has its imaginings and society has its model answers, to still return to your own heart and tell apart which parts are other people's scripts and which is the path you truly want to walk.

He once came very close to a stable life, once walked along a path easy for others to understand. Only later did he realise that if you keep living to satisfy other people, then even if it looks safe, you may not truly be happy.

True happiness is not living out what others consider normal.

It is finally being able to say, honestly:

'This time, I am going to live for myself!'